why I have been quiet

Bindian

Bindian

Member
Folks,
Just a short note why I have been quiet here. Mom has had Alzheimer's for a while. She is doing awesome on Aricept for her disease. Mother's Day I was assaulted in Mom and Dad's driveway,when I rolled my truck window down, by my brother. I filed assault charges against him. The charges went to the DA last Friday. Another arrest warrant should come out Monday or Tuesday for the assault charges. May 17th, I admitted Dad into the ER. Mom came home with me. Sunday he almost died. A temp. pacemaker was installed. Tuesday, the 20th, a permanent pacemaker was installed. The 24th, my son and I, along with a friend went over to Dad's house to gather some clothes for Dad's rehab. therapy in the nursing home. I had to call the sheriff on my brother to let me in Mom and Dad's house to get Dad's clothes. While waiting for a call back from the deputy, my brother came out shouting for me to leave and then stormed off toward Mom and Dad's house. My friend and I was waiting in my idling truck. My son (who was acting as a go between between me and my brother) told me I had better leave as he was going for his gun. I left and parked in front of the neighbor's house and called 911. 5 LEO cars came in a hurry. MY brother was arrested for an outstanding traffic warrant. Last week, I turned off all utlitlies. During all this........I have been dealing with hospitals, nursing homes, and county legal service run-a-round, along with hiring an attorney to help secure Medicaid for Mom and Dad. All the while....having Mom with me 24/7 while visiting Dad. I am borrowing vacation now from 2009. The nursing home has a room on hold for Mom and Dad together. So now all I have to do is figure out how to get into my parent's abandoned house (the locks where changed by my brother) and removed all their belongings........but most importantly ...........all the legal papers I haven't brought home with me. I plan on breaking off old keys in the new locks tomorrow. Mom goes into the nursing home late this week. So I hope to have more input here on this forum again soon.:shitHitsFan::shitHitsFan::shitHitsFan:
hugs, Brandi
 
Brandi,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Mom is in similar shape with continual crises going on for a long time now, and I don't know how I could deal with it if I had those huge added complexities.

Can you hire some temporary help to cover your parents and give you a little breathing space? I think your parents would want you to take care of yourself, too, as you manage this difficult situation.

This has got to get a little easier after you don't need to go to that house. Hang in there!
 
Brandi, so sorry to hear of your ordeal. It's so tough to see your parents go through failing health, and I can't imagine the pain and frustration that goes with Alzheimer's. Know that you and your parents are in my thoughts and prayers.
Why some siblings have to behave so badly is hard to fathom. They obviously only care about themselves, but to go to such extremes is impossible to understand. Best wishes in dealing with your brother. Keep calling the law as you have to. They are there for just those types of situations.
 
Sounds like you need some hugs Brandi. Best of luck dealing with your parents and brother.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Doc said:
Brandi, so sorry to hear of your ordeal. It's so tough to see your parents go through failing health, and I can't imagine the pain and frustration that goes with Alzheimer's. Know that you and your parents are in my thoughts and prayers.
Why some siblings have to behave so badly is hard to fathom. They obviously only care about themselves, but to go to such extremes is impossible to understand. Best wishes in dealing with your brother. Keep calling the law as you have to. They are there for just those types of situations.
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I could not agree more with Doc :(. Having worked with the Alzheimer population and their families for quite a few years and having a dementing parent, I have to do some thinking before I get back. Hang in there- Jay
 
Bindian said:
Folks,
Just a short note why I have been quiet here. Mom has had Alzheimer's for a while. She is doing awesome on Aricept for her disease. Mother's Day I was assaulted in Mom and Dad's driveway,when I rolled my truck window down, by my brother. I filed assault charges against him. The charges went to the DA last Friday. Another arrest warrant should come out Monday or Tuesday for the assault charges. May 17th, I admitted Dad into the ER. Mom came home with me. Sunday he almost died. A temp. pacemaker was installed. Tuesday, the 20th, a permanent pacemaker was installed. The 24th, my son and I, along with a friend went over to Dad's house to gather some clothes for Dad's rehab. therapy in the nursing home. I had to call the sheriff on my brother to let me in Mom and Dad's house to get Dad's clothes. While waiting for a call back from the deputy, my brother came out shouting for me to leave and then stormed off toward Mom and Dad's house. My friend and I was waiting in my idling truck. My son (who was acting as a go between between me and my brother) told me I had better leave as he was going for his gun. I left and parked in front of the neighbor's house and called 911. 5 LEO cars came in a hurry. MY brother was arrested for an outstanding traffic warrant. Last week, I turned off all utlitlies. During all this........I have been dealing with hospitals, nursing homes, and county legal service run-a-round, along with hiring an attorney to help secure Medicaid for Mom and Dad. All the while....having Mom with me 24/7 while visiting Dad. I am borrowing vacation now from 2009. The nursing home has a room on hold for Mom and Dad together. So now all I have to do is figure out how to get into my parent's abandoned house (the locks where changed by my brother) and removed all their belongings........but most importantly ...........all the legal papers I haven't brought home with me. I plan on breaking off old keys in the new locks tomorrow. Mom goes into the nursing home late this week. So I hope to have more input here on this forum again soon.:shitHitsFan::shitHitsFan::shitHitsFan:
hugs, Brandi
Click to expand...

You need to get the power of attorney for both your parents...
Then a locksmith can, legally, get you into the house...

You also need to get a restraining order against your bother to stay away from you and all properties under your control...

You probably also need to swear out a complaint of theft of your parent's possessions...:(
 
PaulChristenson said:
You need to get the power of attorney for both your parents...
Then a locksmith can, legally, get you into the house...

You also need to get a restraining order against your bother to stay away from you and all properties under your control...

You probably also need to swear out a complaint of theft of your parent's possessions...:(
Click to expand...

I'd agree with what Paul said.

Sorry to hear of all your family problems. Family can be difficult.

PB
 
Brandi, sorry to hear of your family difficulties,:sad: sure hope that it all gets straightened out in a short amount of time. All of us will have you in our thoughts and prayers.
 
Thanks guys for all the kind words.:respect: I do have POA. But the deputys that came out when I wanted my Dad's clothes, didn't raise an eyebrow at the paperwork. They want something with a judges name on it. Mom will be there when we go back on Saturday with my trailer to load it up. I got in today and took photos and found one of Dad's two legal paper metal cases (with both their birth certificates), while two Animal Control Officers were rounding up the 4 dogs left there by my brother. The new stove that the insurance settlement paid just last month is gone now. So that will make felony theft charges. I told Dad this evening that the stove was gone. You could see his eyes narrow and brow crease as that sunk in.
Paul,
Why can't you show some compassion instead of always telling folks what you think they should do? To me, you sound just like all the county employees I have been dealing with the past two weeks that just keep sending me to another county employee's office on the other side of town until I finally wound up back where I started.:wtf: True, I didn't mention I have been presuing a protective order.:pat: I can't get a protective order now that my brother has left a known address. All the protective order needs is an address where my brother lives.

Nicahawk,
Yes, hugs have been coming in, but I could always could use more. I have a new friend now:cool: that comes around on weekends and brings all kinds of hugs! Come on Friday!:wink:
hugs, Brandi
 
God Brandi,

I’m late as usual but I just wanted to add that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

I read a loving commitment and concerns in your words…and elderly, vulnerable parents is such a sensitive issue that only the children can protect. Since you are that child I hope and pray all goes well from here on.

Mark
 
Brandi, just don't know what to say. We're sorry to hear about your Mom and Dad. Hope you get the situation with your brother worked out.

Jim and Beth
 
Jim Slagle said:
Brandi, just don't know what to say. We're sorry to hear about your Mom and Dad. Hope you get the situation with your brother worked out.

Jim and Beth
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Jim and Beth,:wave:
Oh I will. I'll just give him enough rope. He'll do the rest.
hugs, Brandi
 
Bindian said:
Jim and Beth,:wave:
Oh I will. I'll just give him enough rope. He'll do the rest.
hugs, Brandi
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Good attitude and good plan Brandi. The ole tried and true method for sure. Everyone knows about it, but it still works more often than not. :D
Best wishes and hugs for you too!!!!!!
Doc
 
Brandi, I echo the sentiments of all the others. I wish you and your parents the very best, and a speedy resolution of the property and brother difficulties.

I'm afraid I would react much like Paul did ordinarily, not being critical in any way, just being a problem solver by nature and being concerned about you and the circumstance. Many times I have responded just that way to my daughter, when she wanted my attention and support, and I just wanted to help.

You and your family are in my prayers.

And this time, I will say - -

Hugs,

Fred
 
GreenWannabe said:
Brandi, I echo the sentiments of all the others. I wish you and your parents the very best, and a speedy resolution of the property and brother difficulties.

I'm afraid I would react much like Paul did ordinarily, not being critical in any way, just being a problem solver by nature and being concerned about you and the circumstance. Many times I have responded just that way to my daughter, when she wanted my attention and support, and I just wanted to help.

You and your family are in my prayers.

And this time, I will say - -

Hugs,

Fred
Click to expand...
Fred, :wave:
Thanks for the prayers and the hugs.
hugs, Brandi
 
:wave:Hang in there Brandi! I watched my mom go through a similar situation with my grandparents. There's not a lot you can do besides hold your head high and do what you know is right.:sorry:
 
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